21

It had been my plan to blog for 21 days.....it has also been my plan to make sure we had groceries and that laundry was done.  These last two weeks have wrecked me.  Not in a bad way, but its funny, He shakes things up and all my plans seem quite insignificant.  Side note...the kids have been fed and we have all had clean clothing :)  I keep saying not my way....not my will.  Just whatever You want, that's what I want too.  And I worry sometimes I'm missing it.  But then there are times when I make up my own mind and decide what I think is best...safest....and He wrecks me.  And as frustrating as it is, there is where I find peace.  There I find His will, not my own.  My best laid plans....the safer way.  When did I ever think that is what He has called me to anyways?  So far in over my head I am.....so desperately happy on the inside as I stop treading water, stop fighting this big ocean of unknown and just float.  There is beauty in that.  I will get there.  Thankful.