Remember

When I came across this, it hit me hard. Because isn't it truth baby girl? Just the plain out truth. Yesterday, of all days, He called me to the strangest things. So much to show me. Gifts all wrapped up if you are willing. And so I was. And so He did. And that statement. Those words. There were days I wasn't sure if I could ever be alone in this house again. There were weeks I could not watch television. The normalcy of it all made me want to crawl out of my skin. Worrying day in and day out about what I would wake up to, panic attacks driving up to the mail box. Afraid of every knock on the door. Wondering if I would ever see the sun again. He promised me a great many things in those quiet, hidden days. Little by little, first a crawl. And then I could stand. And then I began to walk in His truth. This year I am full out running. I prayed for the days I could listen to music again. That I could have peace in my home, in my finances, in my choices, in my relationships. Peace. I prayed most for peace. And it is here. He is here. And when He said Joel 2:25 I had no idea. No idea how long and how hard and how much it would require for Him to heal me. Yet here I sit feeling quite astonished at this new skin. It feels like me. It feels like home. Prayers are answered in His way, His time. And I have heard people say God answered their prayers, just not how they expected. And I get it. He did. And I never expected joy to come in any way other than how I believed it should happen. But it has. For me, joy comes from the ability to love others with abandon. Because that is so not me on many levels. It's being able to be who He made me to be all the while depending on Him to meet my needs. And He has. All the hard work....so worth it. Perhaps I would not have said that back then. Perhaps there was no other way than this. And I can accept that. I'm a stubborn child. But that beautiful will in the right Hands can do amazing things. And for that, I am thankful.