Of Meltdowns and Day Ones

I ugly cried. Right there as he walked out the door, it founds its way up and I couldn't hold it back. The fear, worry, concern....it hit me hard.  Because this is day one on so many levels I can't even say. And He waits, He does until I'm flat level on the ground to whisper it...that too love, that one too.. And oh my lanta.....yeah. Because I just don't have it in me to fight Him on this anymore. This is unknown and I could lose it all. But then I already did...and gained more than I ever imagined. These days right here they suck. I'm just tellin' ya. They are not the kind for the faint of heart. They are the kind that a girl who learned to trust long ago is facing yet again. Test me and see if won't throw open the flood gates.... He tells me. Test me and see where I am anxious....I had said to Him. And so He has. And so I will. Because you either face it now or run smack into it later. This is the .1...... Thankful.