Troubled Waters

I sobbed all the way home. Seriously. It felt like right back where I began and it overwhelmed me in away that felt like more than I could begin to imagine walking ever again. Ever. No more. I want to run so far and so fast some days that it's all just a very faint memory. But then again that never really got me anywhere before, so I'm pretty sure another do over would be in order. No thank you. Looking back over the last week, I see one thing. He puts my feet into the water and then pulls me back. And the pulling back makes me antsy. I want to jump head first. He wants me to have quiet perspective on what's really in my heart. Cause sometimes once your in, getting out is a whole lotta trouble. He has reminded me all week, in quietness and trust is my strength. So much so that on said evening of my epic meltdown, the card on the counter made me pause. It's from one of my dearest friends. One who has walked this with me for quite sometime. And her verse on Monday prompted her to write to me. Quiet and trust. It made me think of you she said. The answer to my prayers on a Thursday night. Already waiting. Because He is before and after and right here in the middle, yes. Never left. Never forsaken. No not for a moment. Thankful.