Thursday, October 6, 2016

31 Days

This is the first year in a while I have not managed to do all of the 31 days of writing. Things are different. Life is different. And though the words build up, it's quite something else to put pen to paper, to express what's happening, all the changes, and what that means for me. I'm coming out of a year of hard change. A year of opening doors and a year of doors shutting. A year of rest in some ways and growth in others. Fighting those old things that haunt, letting go of the old and pressing into the new. As things bubbles to the surface one thing I knew is that I had to walk away from social media for a while. It was just not where I needed to be. I need to be here, in front of my life, living my life. Sharing it with the ones I have been blessed with. Giving my time and efforts to those things. So I'm not sure how this 31 days will actually look. I'm ok with that too. Fall is coming. I can feel it in the air. I can sense the change. It wakes me. It makes me look up. It sends anticipation throughout my brain. And I have not felt that in years. There is no heavy weight of worry. How will things go, how must I plan so that everything is just perfect. Just the desire to slow and take it all in. To let it settle deep into my heart. To accept that I'm still very much a work in progress. When stone is being sculpted, the big heavy major work is hard and loud and big. Chunks of structure pulled down and chopped off until that solid piece looked nothing like it had in the past. The raw form finally recognizable. And then it begins. The slow chipping. The agonizingly small methodical detail laid to make it what it was meant to be. What the Creator saw all along. His masterpiece. The work of His hands. This long process, I feel it in my heart. Years of the stripping and chipping away of all the things that bound the girl He wants me to be. Slow work. Necessary work. Thankful. 

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