Gift

This thing that has haunted me for literal years..strangely, seems like a gift. That's not an easy thing to say. So much lost, but I have found so much a long the way. In this time. In this season. Right here. I sat last night in the quiet looking over the place He set me. Here. 20 years ago. Half my life in this place, yes. I have tried a million times to leave it. But He holds me here. How many gifts have I tried to give back, to escape....because they don't look like anything I would be wanting, anything that could possibly do me any good. Yet they are the very thing I need. The very thing I most desire. Just not the way I thought they should be delivered. His gift of love and mercy and kindness. The gift of forgiveness, compassion and empathy. The gift of giving. The gift of receiving. In His time. Thankful.