Sleep

I detest parental celebration days. I just do. They make me itchy and want to hide. I'm not sure if I will ever recover from the hatred of them. It's that bad. After a string of long and exhausting days that left me more confused than ever, I had a plan for said parental celebration day that threatened to send me into a mood that can only be rivaled by the worst PMS....I was going to tie up all my little loose ends this day. Even if it killed me, I was going to gain control of something in my life, since everything else seemed at best, to be going the other direction. 

Funny how that doesn't work.....but a girl can pretend.  And that false sense of security unravels quicker than you can imagine. I checked off my list with a speed unmatched in quite some time. And it began with sheets really. The sheets I had resisted buying. Because I hate new. No more changes Lord. Just leave something familiar in tact. And after a week of sleeping on the top sheet because I had a hole the size of Jamaica in the fitted sheet, I knew this was the day. And it was. I found them in 5 minutes flat. And they were not what I was searching for at all. But they were the ones. The ones. I feared I would never find them, the right ones. Because I was searching for what I just KNEW was right for me, all to no avail. Couldn't find it to save my life. And here they were. And they are reminding me each time I get ready for bed this week, new is ok. What we thought was the plan may not be. And that's ok too. It might take longer than we dreamed but it's ok to let go of what perfect is in our head and perhaps find a better perfect for where we are right now. A set of sheets opened that door. As ridiculous as it sounds, sometimes it's the most unassuming choices that lead to the biggest answers. Thankful.