Grooves

As much as I dislike it, I have learned to press in to the quiet. There is reason and purpose. I find it when I don't run. Seems that what has been stored up in the quiet comes at the proper time. I find myself well equipped when I don't run. Just don't run...stand firm and look it in the eyes. And that fear slowly fades, it does. For what can it truly do? 4 am came and I didn't sleep through it on this day. Something called to my heart. Something made me wake with ease. These are days that I am all too familiar with. Days, weeks, months of walking. Familiar paths for this soul. Yes, I know when He calls. There is purpose in every pain, every struggle. It etches deep within and becomes who we are.  Why so much Lord? Why so very long? Because we return to the familiar, to what we know in days of fear and pain. And as much as I revert at times to the old there is this...He re-wrote something in me. Those deep and heavy grooves of familiar have changed. And seemingly the things that used to comfort and define do not. How will we know this then? By His testing. By facing the very things that had once left us dazed and confused and grasping for relief, we now lean into, we face them...even if it's with shaking legs or face down from the fall. We look up, then we get up. And we begin again. Thankful.