Friday, May 15, 2015
It's been a particularly hard string of days. They have left me wondering why things still seem so hard and why these twists and turns. She was my most perfect gift. After everything, all the bad choices and years of running away from what my heart was saying to me, I never dreamed that I would receive something like that, like her. Because surely, after all, there were more deserving. Those who had never done any wrong, never crossed the lines I had. Yet there she was. All my hope and dreams wrapped up in one little package. She is me. She is all the good. She is all the determination. She speaks like I do. Our words. They mimic and blend and come out at the same time. The way she stands, the way she sleeps. Me. She was the gift I received when I wasn't even looking. She was the impossible dream that I couldn't bring myself to hope for. And I'm reminded on these days, when what I hope for seems long out of reach, He is still the same God. He still restores broken pieces, broken places and broken people. He is a God of second chances....and fourth and fith and so on...yes. He gives. As much as He takes away, He also gives. I needed to remeber that today. On a hard day. On a day that makes me sincerely doubt. I needed to remember. Thankful.