Sunday, May 10, 2015

When It's Not Your Favorite.

I hate Mother's Day. I always have. It feels almost sacrilegious to say it. But it's true. It has always been a day that seemed to shine a light on all that isn't. All that is not ok. All the ways I feel like I failed. All the other 364 days somehow vanish in the sight of this one single high expectation day. What happened to them? What happened to all the meals and dishes and laundry and cleaning and illnesses and projects and third time shopping trips in a day.....yeah. That's Mother's Day. The day you want to hide in the bathroom with a tub of ice cream and change your phone number.....but you don't. Because you can't. Because there is no off switch to momma. That is Mother's Day. The day you stand with tears in your eyes and your heart in your hand knowing that this will end badly and there will be pieces to pick up...but you will. You always will. That is Mother's Day. There is no card for that. No flowers can smell as sweet as that child that you know by the scent of their skin. No. It's never gonna be a day. It's not this day that reminds you. It's not this day that your are grateful. It's all the others. Thankful. 

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