Wednesday, May 6, 2015
Who knew. That open door, yeah. And to the day I was reminded. Things don't always turn out quite like you expect. No. Sometimes it all comes to a head and you can't avoid it any longer. And it all breaks open wide. And I didn't run. I didn't fall. I just stood still and when it came flooding in a mile a minute and everything in me screamed do something! I did. I said the only thing that was overflowing from my heart...I will praise You even in this. And as my day played out and it all fell apart and went every shade of wrong, he said "come here after work. I need to talk to you". It's still enough to strike fear in my heart. Fear of disappointing. Fear of rejection. And as I crossed the parking lot, I put my things in the truck I saw it. Shinning up at me. Just like it did 3 years ago. I'm right here. This is the way. This feels like it just can't possibly be. But perhaps it is. This day. All theses days strung together I wonder how and even why. Why. This was never the plan. This was never the way it was supposed to be. But what if it was. What if this was the only way to get to the root of it all. To change everything. Because it did. And most days it feels like they were the wrong changes. But so much was made right. And as I stand here yet again I remember. I remember that day. The day I faced it all. The day He held me fast. This thing is not gonna break you. And it did not. I can make my plans but He guides my steps. And my best laid dreams can never match His direction for my life. I was reminded to remain pliable. I was reminded to let the stretching do it's job. I stopped running quite a long time ago. There is no need you see. It just brings you right back round. To Him. To His plan. To His way. No matter how long it takes. And so I looked it square and said no. No fear. You see I've learned a thing or two. I've learned what thing can drive fear out in a single breath. I've learned the power of those words. He told me the answer early on, though I didn't see it. Yes. Love never fails. Thankful.