Here

It's been a string of days and the word last week left me pondering. Here... Well now isn't that just the thing I've been letting settle.... You see here snuck up on me, caught me off guard and came rushing in all at once. It all came crashing in, new and old alike, and when the dust has finally settled, well, this is where I find myself. Here. It's a hard lesson for me, learning to live in the right now. It's a place of transition and change. I'm not so great at either. Perhaps that's why He waits until I'm able. Just enough there to withstand what is coming, but still wholly dependent on Him to keep me standing. And the it hits like a hurricane. And things are stripped away and nothing looks remotely like it did before. Nothing. And so you look around at your new normal and you wonder. Yes, what will become of it all. I do not know. But I know who I am and how He made me. And when I have a tendency to slip back into doubting and worry He holds tight and whispers...you were made for this baby girl. Made for hard... And perhaps that why, when the quiet days come I struggle. Because quiet and rest are so foreign to me. But I'm learning. I'm trying. I'm living right here. Right now. And each day reminding myself of how much I have. Thankful.