Saturday, August 29, 2015
It happens when I sense change. And I can. I can feel it. And the panic rises and I tense. My whole body does. Yes. He seems to have set me up, to brace me for change months in advance. Yet it was unknown to me then. Brace yourself baby girl....He whispered. Lean straight into me and brace yourself.... And hasn't that just been the case when the wind begins to howl and nothing is left standing and you wonder, yes, what on earth did I do so very wrong to end up here.... Yet it wasn't that at all, no. Not at all. You see I become fearful and the old tries to creep in. I restrict. I withhold. I hoard. I fear the not enough...inside and outside. Change to me in the natural has brought lack of.....but if I am honest, and I will look at it with right eyes, there has never been what I fear. Have I had seasons where I was in want? Yes. But never lack. Never not enough. And that fear....it circles round shouting surely surely you have been forsaken this time. Because how will you ever manage? Indeed. On the worst days the hardest days the lowest days the days where it all slipped right through my hands, yes....what was lost that wasn't poured right back to me? What need was unmet? What child was forsaken? What stomach went hungry and what bill was left unpaid? What night was slept without a bed or a roof over my head? What night baby girl....what day did you fail to make it through? What promise has He whispered and not followed through so far? Not all to be fulfilled in the right now....some just are still just not yet, yes. Remember all the days upon days upon weeks upon months upon years lovely. And stand up now. Because you aren't even close to the girl who faced all that change so long ago. No. You are what He has created in you. You are enough. Because He is enough. And there is no separation of the two. And He who promised is faithful. Always. And you know now girl what you had yet to learn then. Never will He leave you. Never will He forsake you. No never. Remember that. Let go your hands and just run to it. Your future. His plans for good, not harm. Your hope. Your future. In Him. Always. Thankful.