I have woken myself up praying, tears falling and the panic rising in my chest. And for the life of me I wonder what in the world. The fear of loosing, of being left yet again suddenly makes its way front and center. I can't tell you just how I survived it all before. But the fact is I did. I didn't die. The world didn't stop. And I learned a new normal. And perhaps it's time to unlearn it. It was only for a season it was, but changing things out to best fit what I'm walking into is not an easy task by any stretch of the imagination. The resistance in my heart is jaw dropping. Not one thing is altered in this. No ground falling out from under. No surprise threatening to be the straw that breaks things. I'm realizing that I'm not bound by anothers choices. I've made mine. And the chains that hold so tightly I am finding are my own two hands holding something that isn't mine to be undone. That changes everything. Thankful.