[What, what would have become of me] had I not believed that I would see the Lord's goodness in the land of the living! Wait and hope for and expect the Lord; be brave and of good courage and let your heart be stout and enduring. Yes, wait for and hope for and expect the Lord. (Psalm 27:13-14 AMP)
What would have become of me had I not believed in God's goodness? That stopped me cold. How has He brought me this far? How can I trust Him in the middle of what looks like I'm going to drown? Because I believed. Some how, some way, in all the chaos that was, I chose to believe in His goodness. I chose to believe His voice when everything was in opposition to it. I believed He had a plan for my good. Not to harm me, but to give me hope and a future.
What would have become of this girl had I not chosen to believe the God Who called me. I cringe at what I see. Because I know that girl and all her flaws and weaknesses. But I am not that girl. No. I am not the girl who walked through that door 3 years ago. All that changed when I reached out, when I believed I would see God's goodness. The fulfillment of His promises to me. Yes. And look what has become of that tiniest of girls who had nothing left but a very Big God.
As I search again for His way, His voice, I find it right there. Right there. It never left me. He never leaves either. Verse 14. Wait. For. Him.
Then Mary said, Behold, I am the handmaiden of the Lord; let it be done to me according to what you have said. And the angel left her. (Luke 1:38 AMP)
Let Your will be done Lord. Just as You have spoken over me. Just as You have said. Thankful.