Saturday, April 18, 2015

Just The Beginning

I saw it on a shirt today. That verse. And it all tied together and made sense. It's the verse that got me up off the floor three weeks into the nightmare that had consumed me. I stumbled aimlessly for 23 days before I could catch my breath. And once again face down on the floor I told Him...I give up. I can't do this. So I'll do whatever You say. Just makes this stop... And the church on tv.... because it's baby steps when you are crawling your way back. When you have gotten so far away from what you know, church in any form, yeah, I'd take it. I had finally managed to turn it on again. The TV. Because even the normal of that I couldn't stand....that verse. He read it out loud and I turned my head. I looked up. And the tears stopped for a brief second. 

Isaiah 40:31 But those who wait for the Lord who expect, look for, and hope in Him shall change and renew their strength and power; they shall lift their wings and mount up close to God as eagles mount up to the sun; they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint or become tired. 

Yes....He gave me the end at the beginning. And so that verse, it's been coming back round. The beginning at the end....and it all falls into place. And I remembered this week. I took two days to deal with so much swirling around in my world. So much to be done. And I was drowning. So I did the only thing I know. I stopped. I sat still. And I waited on Him to show up.  I got up on those mornings and I ran. Because everything in me wants to run away from this. But He changed all that. He did. So I ran to let go. Ran to understand. Ran to pray. Ran to question. Ran to get something, some sort of answer. And I did. 4 miles felt like nothing the first day. 6 felt even easier the next. What's happening here?? I asked Him. I did. And today, this morning I ran a race in the rain. I ran alone. All my people were in different places in their journey today. Some ahead and some far behind. So it was just me. And I ran my own way. And I wasn't scared. I wasn't tired. I wasn't anxious. I wasn't anything other than me. I was able. It was just like breathing. Just run baby girl. It's who you are. Yes. And my head was down, deep in thought. The beautiful face pacing beside me spoke to me as we rounded the corner and I couldn't help but smile ... There it is! You see it?!? We are almost there.. I saw it. Finish. Yes I saw it. And I remembered the words from another beautiful face last year when I rounded a corner, praying for death or a finish line. And it came. Just at the right time...the finish line, that is. And so I sprinted. Yes. I ran with all I had to the end. I through it all off and ran my race. It's what I'm doing right now. Sprinting the finish. It's hard. It takes all I have. But I will finish. It's nearly done. 

Isaiah 40:1 1-2 “Comfort, oh comfort my people,”says your God.“Speak softly and tenderly to Jerusalem,but also make it very clear that she has served her sentence, that her sin is taken care of—forgiven! She’s been punished enough and more than enough, and now it’s over and done with.” 

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