Awakening

"The breaking always precedes the miracle".  Ever since I hear Christine Cain say that it has stuck with me.  And today He showed me that.  Yesterday was hard.  It was raw.  It was emotional.  But I have learned enough to know when He says be quiet, be still...to do it.  Breaking.  Letting Him have His way.  Believing even though my feelings said otherwise, good will come even from this.

It fueled an anger in me that said "enough".  I don't want to be second choice, second place.  I won't be.  I was the first choice and I won't settle for anything less....I can't.  It will never work.  And walking to the bathroom (oh the way He speaks to me in the bathroom....) the miracle...the key opened up that door and it settled...

"now do you see baby girl?"

It's what He has been saying all along.....He was first.  My first love, first in my heart.  And He won't, He CAN'T take second place.  It doesn't fit.  And what I have been feeling, that's how He feels towards me, about me, His fierce jealousy and desire to be what He was made to be in my life...FIRST.  No second place.  No person before Him. 

And so I got it....finally.....and He stepped back in to what was rightfully His all along.  The Owner of my heart.  The Lover of my soul....what I truly deserve...love.  Because what He told me a long, long time ago about love is this...

1 Corinthians 13:7-8 NIV

 

"⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

⁸ Love never fails....."