Flow

I have been looking at this with much less than eyes of grace. Tears and frustration and questions can do that to a girl. Why now? Why again? Why still?

And as I woke this morning with heavy heart and frustrations that seemed to be knocking again, my little slip of prayer requested only this today....give thanks....my word on a necklace sent to me as a reminder...thankful...my verse today as I slowly moved forward with my day before the coffee had time to kick in...

Philippians 4:6 

Don’t be anxious about things; instead, pray. Pray about everything. He longs to hear your requests, so talk to God about your needs and be thankful for what has come. 

Talk to Him about my needs and be thankful.....there it is again. He hears me, He does. But He wants me to just be thankful for crying out loud. Thankful for everything that has come and will come. Thankful for today because it has purpose. And I can't do what I need to with a grumbly heart. I proved that over the past two weeks. When I clench my fists tight and grit my teeth nothing can get in, but nothing can get out either. And for me that's just spiritual death and stagnation. When the dam in my heart grows higher and higher the pressure of it all builds and overtakes my very soul. It's learning to live with open hands.  It's learning that things can be gone in an instant, but what we put into those who cross our paths, those are the things of eternity.  Thankful.