Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Upside Down

I have 5 blog posts written....waiting to be finished and linked and published. I've written most of them on my phone because that's just how it's been lately. Little time for sitting. These past few days have been early mornings and late nights, restaurant dinners and things that we just aren't accustomed too. Even my words don't cooperate. I stare at the page of my journal and write the date. And then nothing. Yet it seems the drive to work or counting coins in the cash box remind me. These days are anything but routine. These are the days of wild and dreams and amazement. And then the words come.

She came in sleepy eyed and laid her head on my knee. She saw me staring at the pages trying to comprehend. She asked if I was sad face. I smiled.  She knows this battle and she knows how these things can wound. And we don't hide words and feelings and frustrations anymore, no. I told her I really wasn't. That I very much enjoyed last night. You have to crawl before you walk. Walk before you run. And then sometimes go back and walk again. Walk beside baby girl..... Yes. And the answer comes as I sit at the stop light. I'm just not sad. Not sad at all. I am truly grateful for this chance to just love. I'm not bound by any rule other than love the way that you have been loved. And for that I realize that the freedom I have always sought is right here. Thankful. 

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