Sunday, October 19, 2014

31 Days - Day 17 #FMF

LONG:   Go....
The end of a very long week found me heavy in wondering.  The "what if's" took an ugly turn in my head.  I was just flat tired.  Tired of the questions that just don't have answers right now, tired of trying to decide if I'm doing this right at all, tired of wondering how I can make this all just come to a stop.  Enough.  Cause most days lately I am feeling that I have been running this race way too long.  It feels like I took a wrong turn and a slow boat to China.  Long and hard and not what I ever imagined this would turn out to be.  I keep remembering running my half marathon.  Mile 12 was UGLY.  And I thought I would be happy at mile 13.  Anyone can do one mile....yeah, not so much.  I cried (again) and thought this is really never going to end is it?  Never.  I swear this can't have been the way.  I think I ran way off course.... I didn't.  Just the last 3 miles were run in some pretty scary and abandoned and forgetten places.  The scenery was awful.  This is why I ran?  To see this?  to not finish and be stuck here?? That's how this feels a some days lately.  I know there is an end.  I know why I ran that race and I know why I began this one too.  I had no idea what the end would be then and I sure don't know what the end will be in this either.  But no matter how long, I know I will finish.  I know the long distance has a purpose.  It's how He made me.  Able.  Thankful.

1 comment:

  1. great job running a 1/2 marathon! that's amazing!