Saturday, October 4, 2014

31 Days - Day 4

These days have been hard and long.  The last 31 as a matter of fact, perhaps, some of the hardest.  That is saying a lot if you know about the 973 that preceeded them.  I walked outside this morning to find the brightest sun and the coolest, hard breeze.  And I could breathe.  I've been running for a little bit.  Running from.  This fear that has been terrorizing me, I have pretended it wasn't there, ignored it, hid it, still....  My heart was so heavy this morning.  What if....I faced this and just got the answers I need.  Even if I am scared to death and I have no idea what to say really.....anything is better than one more day of this.  And so I did. Sometimes what we percieve will be, is worse than what truly is.  This is deep water in an unknown sea.  I'm scared of what will be, but even more so, I'm scared of not trusting God big and becoming everything He wants me to be.  Thankful.

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