Prayer. As church ended on what was a very stirring service today, our pastor’s wife invited anyone who needed it to come up and seek prayer. People were waiting to pray with you. It was a fleeting thought. Maybe….but no. It’s not me. I don’t share much these days publicly. This has been a hard year. A year of loss, pain, and in some ways complete devastation. But from that has come strength, faith, hope and a growth in my spiritual walk that I fear could have come in no other way. So I ponder this. And I walk my note to the foot of the cross and I lay it down again to the only One who truly knows the depth of what He is asking me to do.
And when I return, she isn’t there. My child. Not where she once stood. And then I see her, that beautiful girl of 16 who has had her faith tested this year as well. I see her standing with our pastor in prayer. And I can think of no other thing than to go to my child. I see her tears. I see my child asking for prayer. And in that moment as I go to her, nothing else matters but her. And I’m standing there beside her, ready to be there, her protector since the moment she was conceived. She dosen’t know it, what my thoughts towards her are. How fierce my love for her is, what mountains I would move for her in an instant. I stand there silent. Watching. This is her moment. She grew. Her faith became stronger. She heeded His calling.
How many times has He done that for me? He’s there the instant I am in need. Standing beside me. All the protection I will ever need ready and waiting. But letting me grow. Letting me do the hard work. Knowing that there isn’t one second He can’t rescue me, but watching these things grow my faith.
As it turns out, He did mean for me to receive prayer. As I stood watching this amazing young woman turn a corner, God reached out in the quietest of ways to me. Our pastors wife said “what is it? What are you holding onto that you need to release?” and in that moment, I knew that He had provided what I needed as well. A gentle word, an “ok” to lay it down again, to speak my heart and have someone agree with me in prayer.
My child heard God speaking to her heart and she ran. God heard his child crying out in her heart and He ran….