Wednesday, January 9, 2013


I'm a planner.  It gives me comfort.  Security.  And a very false sense of where my life is headed.  This past year was nothing like I had planned.  Nothing.  You could not have picked a time where I would have ever seen this past year as a part of my life in my wildest dreams.  Yet is was my life.  And as I stand looking at this new year, these days and weeks ahead I get a little fearful.  How Lord? What in the world because I certainly have NO idea what You want me to do.  But as I look back over the last 12 months, I realize something.  Last year at this time, breathing was pretty much my priority everyday.  That's it.  My prayer life consisted of me crying for hours on end just saying "God help".  And He did.  And even in the midst of my darkest days where nothing made sense and I could not tell you what the next hour would hold, He led me on this journey.  Somehow, without my planning a second of it, here I am.

Day by day, minute by minute, step by step.....So today as I sit here admittedly trying to figure out what in the world He could possibly be doing now I remember....MY plan didn't get me here.  His did.  His revelation.  His guidance.  Even on the days where it seems that there was no purpose in anything I was doing. Here I am.  Such a different and changed girl.  Such amazing things He did when I just kept putting one foot in front of the other, following the tugs on my heart that led me into a deeper need for Him and in doing so created streams in a dry desert so long abandoned by me. He spoke so fiercely to my heart the other day, answering my hearts cry yet again.  What Lord?? HOW??

Isaiah 43:18-19
New Living Translation (NLT)
18 “But forget all that—
it is nothing compared to what I am going to do.
19 For I am about to do something new.
See, I have already begun! Do you not see it?
I will make a pathway through the wilderness.
I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.
And then again today and I questioned Him again
Joshua 1:9
Amplified Bible (AMP)
9 Have not I commanded you? Be strong, vigorous, and very courageous. Be not afraid, neither be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.

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