I just keep thinking if I can make it through this week. I know I can. Nothing is the same. I was listening to Sundays sermon from Elevation Church. "The butterfly can't go back to the way it was before. It can't be a caterpillar ever again." "Sometimes we forget who we are until we are in trouble." Seems I did. Seems I can't go back. Both settled hard on my shoulders. I'm feeling a little like I did standing many feet above that water, jumping was the only way. And I'm feeling a bit numb. I have the head knowledge. I know what te answer is. I just have to trust myself...and mostly God....that I can do this. It's pretty much the only way. And that makes me question. It makes me doubt. Myself. Him. What He called me to in all of this. But in my heart I know. He's the only way. Fear, yeah, right in my ear. But maybe I'll loose it on the way down. Thankful.