Hearing

Taylor Swift somehow made it on to my iPod.... in triplicate. And I love her music, don't get me wrong, but teardrops on her guitar are not encouraging me on my run... And so as I fast forward....many times....I find something suitable to keep me going. And my thoughts wander. And I realize. I am strong. I have become something I never thought would be. And it all has come from this hard road. I made choices and kept going long after what seemed reasonable. Why? Why would He ask such a thing?   I've known God my entire life. I accepted Him as a 22 year old.  And life got harder.  And I went back and forth, learning and running away, coming back and falling short again, confessing my desire to follow Him and then following my own path.  But it all brought me here.  It all is a part of my story, my faith, my words.  And most days I wonder does it have to be this freakin' hard??  I'm always writing verses that come to mind or that He gives me down on anything close by.  As I pondered many things this morning and made my way into the kitchen to make my lists for shopping, I dug out this piece of paper. And the verses I found at the bottom of a recipe gave me pause...we  store up in the silence what we need in the storm.....  I had questioned.  He answered.  Why does this feel unending Lord?  Why does it feel like it is taking so very long?

Exodus 13:17-18

17 When Pharaoh finally let the people go, God did not lead them along the main road that runs through Philistine territory, even though that was the shortest route to the Promised Land. God said, “If the people are faced with a battle, they might change their minds and return to Egypt.” 18 So God led them in a roundabout way through the wilderness toward the Red Sea.[c] Thus the Israelites left Egypt like an army ready for battle.[d]

Had I known three years ago what I was facing, I would have run screaming and never even tried.  I was not ready.  I was not strong.  I was not prepared.  I was not able. Such the reminder that He is already up ahead, providing everything we need.  The right answers at the right time.  The right way, never left on our own, no, He is there.  Even when we cannot see, He speaks.  And our heart knows.  I heard something fall as I lay in bed last night...I knew exactly what it was.  And I smiled.  I was questioning yet again, getting all worked up when I needed rest...and the card on my dresser mirror slipped down.  I knew the sound.....His voice in the smallest of things resounded big in my heart....

Joshua 1:9  (NLT)

9 This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”
Thankful.