Sunday, March 16, 2014

Just Recieve

"Sounds good. I'll cover for you. Love you".  I smiled when I read his text. My dad. This week has been a struggle. So much catching up with me. My muscles found themselves in complete knots. I had no real choice but to go get some help with the tension. I have such a hard time admitting I need help or really that I have needs at all. I've gotten so good about keeping my head down and just pushing through that it blindsides me at times. But He's been telling me to stop, slow down, rest and wait. No no and no have been my answers. But yesterday I knew I had to get over myself and just go. And I made the appointment. Seems so frivolous. But I needed it. And I texted my dad to say I made the appointment. That I would come in early for work. And he responded with grace. With covering. Just like my Father is trying to do. And I fight Him. So He puts His hand down heavy until I settle under the weight of it. The hard way....why must I always be so stubborn? As I drove to my appointment, the tears fell and I asked Him seems I am so reluctant to forgive myself, so unable to accept the grace I can extend to another. Why can't I truly take in the fact that I have done all I can and I just need to rest, to be still, to let Him be God. And so as I drove I made some choices. I would forgive myself. I would let the grace extended to me from my dad be a lesson in how to accept grace from my Father. It covers. It is finished. Nothing owed. Debt paid. Perhaps you need that today too. Maybe you need a reminder to let grace come in and do something in your heart, in your life. I'm praying you will do just that and I'll hold your hand if you need it. Thankful.

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