"You were born for relationship. You were born to be loved unconditionally"....and it was in that moment, seeing words that expressed my deepest fears and my deepest desires I did let it wash over me. I let go of those words that have haunted me for literal months....you are going to end up alone and miserable.....because those words spoken into me don't define me. I was made for relationship, for unconditional love. But I had to find that in Him before I could ever find it in myself. I had to be able to give it away before I could ever hope to receive it. So there it is. There it is. Thankful.
Saturday, September 21, 2013
This time of transition has left me feeling a little bit just out of sorts. The newness of things kind of leaves me reeling. This is when He calls me to be still. Be silent. Wait it out. I'm much better about not bristling at this now days. You see I am finding God really does set us up for success. He does. He whispers which way to go. But I find for myself, in the times where I get one word directions like Go....No.....Stop.....Wait...I get panicked. I don't understand. And so I begin frantically searching for the rest of the story, for the rest of the words and more often than not, I don't need all that. I'm not prepared. When He pulled me back into a time of stillness and complete reconstruction it felt like, I tried desperately to heed His direction. He was setting me up to hear Him....and that would lead to success....and as I wobbly navigated a huge shift yet again, He called me to be still this morning. And I was very antsy. That is usually when I know that something is going on. My spirit is restless. So I lay quietly on my bed and prayed, and as I began to settle He began to speak. Today, so much through the always insightful words of Jim Mather.