If I was being completely and utterly ridiculous would you tell me? "Yes, she replied. I would." I believe her. She asked...what going on, you okay? I told her, about battling this silence, which leads to second guessing if I am still out of the boat.. or under it. She reminded me.....when you have done absolutely all you can do, then just stand. Stand. He's been saying that a lot. This morning I woke early. Lots of things going through my head. Standing at the stove cooking breakfast for my two, I remembered. I prayed for this. This peace. These days of a life not held together by a thread. Yes, I did didn't I? These were the first whispers of a dream I didn't know existed. It's this new thing He keeps telling me about....perhaps I am really beginning to perceive it. To keep going when few around me understand what it is He is calling me to. To shrug off others opinions when I know my heart, and so does He. This is me learning. This is me standing. This is me out of the boat. If I fail, if I fall, I tried. I didn't quit. And I'm not alone. Sometimes there are only a very few hands to hold. Sometimes He wants to be the handholder. Thankful.