This. This is where it all started. October 14, 2009 was the day. Enough. I began a journey that would lead me here. God sized wasn't in my vocabulary. But God sized this would be. My vision my dream lead me down the path that would sustain me in His vision, His dream in my heart. He reminds me.....this is not what I ever expected, it's better. And so continuing on those words echo loudly.
I ran this last year. My first long race ever. 9.3 miles. And this year I needed to do it for different reasons. To prove to myself this is still my dream, still my passion and when so much seems questionable to me these days, that yes, I could do it again. My goal was simple. I will not walk. I will start and finish this race. Doing so meant others leaving me behind for a while, it meant being alone, it meant overcoming fear and panic and resisting the thought to ask a nice police office to give me a ride outta there. Just move, ugly run but don't you dare stop. Head down and go just go. Because the beach bridges are steep, kind of like the ones I have encountered along this path of mine. At one point I thought please PLEASE this thing HAS to level out. It did, though it's hard to decipher if I am screaming about this road or THE road I am on. The way down to the last mile was beautiful. My verse that morning came to mind.....Hebrews 13:5.... be content with what you have because He has said, “I will never leave you; I will always be by your side.
And when I got to the end of the bridge to flat surface, I thought I was going to die. I felt every muscle, every blister and even though I knew the end was up ahead, I couldn't see it. And the urge to stop overwhelmed me. Do not stop. Do not quit. And I had to say it out loud. It was that hard. And finally I saw it. The last few yards seemed to take forever. But I made it. I did it. I didn't quit. It did end. And I was glad. Glad I ran. Glad I challenged myself again. Glad I didn't give in to all the things telling me to just give up. I feel like I'm at that place again. I know where I am. I just can't quite take it in. And I want to quit. But I won't.
Head down....in prayer.
Move..... Don't stop seeking Him.
Trust.... The eyes of faith. They see the finish line.