Oh these days of new...and they are terrifying. Pushing me out into places I do not know and I keep grasping for something that isn't there, looking for the railing that should support me....but then I know, sometimes it is ours to lie humble. Reading Ann Voskamp today....and it struck me, what she said.
The Voice (VOICE)
39 To find your life, you must lose your life—and whoever loses his life for My sake will find it.
What if I had to loose to gain. Loose my fears and find perspective. Loose my selfishness and find forgiveness. Loose that which I clung to so very tightly and find the love that I so desperately sought. What if I had to loose so much to appreciate that which I had been given. To see it was such the gift that I took for granted. What days did He remind me....be thankful for this....as I folded laundry or cleaned after my loves. Because it was a gift. And I treated it some days as if it were a curse. In loosing, I dare say, I have found more than I care to. But what I have gained is an appreciation that I fear may not have arrived any other way. To learn a thankfulness that might not have come through the ease of days and a carefree life. But each step gives a new strength. Each surrender gives a new hope. Each thank you gives a new appreciation. For that which has been given...and that which was taken away. Thankful.