Losing

Oh these days of new...and they are terrifying.  Pushing me out into places I do not know and I keep grasping for something that isn't there, looking for the railing that should support me....but then I know, sometimes it is ours to lie humble.  Reading Ann Voskamp today....and it struck me, what she said.

Matthew 10:39

The Voice (VOICE)

39 To find your life, you must lose your life—and whoever loses his life for My sake will find it.

What if I had to loose to gain.  Loose my fears and find perspective.  Loose my selfishness and find forgiveness.  Loose that which I clung to so very tightly and find the love that I so desperately sought.  What if I had to loose so much to appreciate that which I had been given.  To see it was such the gift that I took for granted.  What days did He remind me....be thankful for this....as I folded laundry or cleaned after my loves.  Because it was a gift.  And I treated it some days as if it were a curse.   In loosing, I dare say, I have found more than I care to.  But what I have gained is an appreciation that I fear may not have arrived any other way.  To learn a thankfulness that might not have come through the ease of days and a carefree life.  But each step gives a new strength.  Each surrender gives a new hope.  Each thank you gives a new appreciation.  For that which has been given...and that which was taken away. Thankful.