Sunday, December 28, 2014


I came home Christmas Day. I had 3 days ahead of me. That was probably the worst feeling ever. I had no idea what to do with myself...and all these memories. All these things flooding back. Reminding. And I could run from it. I've done that before....and we know about right back rounds now don't we? Yeah. So this year they hit full force. And I decided to let myself be sad about it. And for the life.....I couldn't help myself. I got really ticked off at the wall paper...for the love. It has peeled and sucked for 17 years now. Seventeen. And I.  Hate. It. So I peeled back one big strip and that was that. No going back. Been there before too. Opened that can of worms that cannot be contained And He presses me. Thing after thing kept peeling back layers and opening up spaces that aren't better left set. I could pretend the wall paper was just fine, look past the peeling paint and all that makes my blood boil. I could pretend that what has been the last three years is good enough. But it isn't. It just is not... But am I brave enough to walk through this....

Paper peeled and the bathroom is stripped down to nothing. All its imperfections showing. All mine are hanging out like laundry getting mighty clean and dry. All the soft spots, all the rough spots, laid bare. The bathrooms too. What's underneath? I've been wondering. So we stripped and scrubbed and cleaned and laid it bare. But it's real. And its never been cleaner. And it's never had more potential. Me too. Thankful. 

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