Saturday, December 13, 2014

Big O' Tents

Another week finished. And I settled in. It's been throwing me some hefty curve balls. And this advent, it's settling in. My youngest checks his box each morning. My girl tells me of her gifts too. Maybe it wasn't as much of a failure as I first believed. I know I have so much to be thankful for. And I am. And maybe right now that's enough. I am finding myself with a stretch of down time.  And it throws me into panic.  And I fight it.  And He just keeps bringing me right back to do over.....So yesterday, I gave in.  I slept until time for the youngest to get on the bus, I drank entirely too much coffee, I pulled off my own version of Christmas decorating, did 10 loads of laundry, cleaned two bathrooms, made one trip to Target, watched entirely too much television, ate tater tots...TWICE..and I didn't run one little step.  All of the things that can throw me into a tailspin.  All the things that when I have them under control make me feels as if I'm under control.  Nice and neat.  Well, everything is not nice and neat.  And I have the urge to untie a few big red bows.  And maybe it's ok to be broken in some respects right now.  There are place in my life that still need some healing.  Some old faithfuls that need to become memories, maybe for a little while, but maybe for always.  It's the not knowing.  It's the fear of failure.  Because let's be honest, I didn't keep it all together, in a lot of ways, I did fail...epicly.  So whats a girl to do with all this handful of fail and fear and fright?  My verse today talked about Paul talking about his weakness.  And the amplified worded God's grace covering Him.  Like a tent.  And I love that.  Cause I need some tent bout' you?  Tent grace sounds like there is plenty to cover you and me and whoever else may need to join us....grace is always better when you share it with a friend anyways.  Thankful.

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