This week has been a struggle. All the why Lord why's? And when Lord when's? are making me not even want to listen to myself anymore. There are days when the pain of remembering is so great that I just can't bear up under it. And so is as His typical fashion when the pain is so great and my strength is so weak, He whispers. And then when I seek answers to the questions I don't have answers to, His answer is the same. "You were made for hard baby girl. Yes you can". And His answers are not always easy. And lets be honest, they are most of the time not what I want to hear.....
39 But I say this, don’t fight against the one who is working evil against you. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, you are to turn and offer him your left cheek. 40 If someone connives to get your shirt, give him your jacket as well. 41 If someone forces you to walk with him for a mile, walk with him for two instead. 42 If someone asks you for something, give it to him. If someone wants to borrow something from you, do not turn away.
Seriously Lord? Yeah.....seriously...because this is not all about me (shocker). This is about His glory and doing what He has placed me here to do. Even when it hurts. Even on the hard days. Because here's the kicker, the thing I tend to forget in this entire thing that has been my life for the past 15 months.
1. God Loves Me. Period. He does not want to see me harmed in anyway. He will, however, use every circumstance.. for His purpose and ultimately my good. And He is not overly concerned about my comfort.
2. God IS A Rewarder. Period. I may not be able to see it right this second, but if He is asking me to do the hard work, then He will also let me benefit from it.
Hard truths this week. His timing. Not mine. This sucks. But He will be glorified. Even on the hard days, even when I want to quit......He sings to me....songs of what is to come, songs of How great His love is for one very tired girl.....