I was looking back over some things....reminding myself of the blessings in my life and all God has given me, trying desperately to keep my head above water it seems. I found something I wrote a year ago....the words ring true for exactly where I am right now even though I was in a completely different place last year. Sometimes we just need a reminder that He is a sustainer. The will to just keep breathing and putting one foot in front of the other may be all I am called to at times. But it all has purpose. It all has meaning.
1 Peter 5:6
King James Version (KJV)
6 Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time
April 5, 2012
WAIT. You might as well tell me to stop breathing. Add Patiently to the end of Wait and the Lord might as well have just asked me to part the Red Sea. But maybe that is exactly what He's asking me to do. Be still, the Lord will fight for you. Waiting is hard. Waiting is silent sometimes. Waiting hurts. Waiting can be lonely. It's easy to think you are supposed to do anything other than wait because what in the world is wait gonna do for me in all this? Wait isn't. God is.
If he told me to go and do, talk it out, anything other than wait, I could do it in my sleep. "I" could. And if I could do this, well then God would not be glorified would He? "I" can't do this. "I" can't fix this. There is nothing in this that I can change. He didn't ask me to. He asked me to be obedient. He asked me to wait. And trust me, waiting for me is an extreme act of obedience. As is Patiently. As is Silently.
Growing hurts. It's painful. We want to run from it, ignore it, escape it, numb it. Or we can surrender to the God that loves us more than we could ever imagine. The One who made us and has a purpose for our lives. To stop now would be to loose whatever blessing lies ahead in obedience. To ignore Him would be to walk away from everything my soul cries out for. And so I do wait, albeit some days, with white knuckles, holding on for dear life, but He honors that. He honors our sacrifice, because in the end He wants to be glorified. Sometimes the biggest act of faith happens with the smallest acts of obedience. Wait.