Friday, December 13, 2013

Advent Day 12 - Share

Share.  I think that has always been something I struggled with.  Somehow that word seemed to take something from me.  What if I needed it?  I think I have gone through much of my life feeling the need to be prepared for anything.  When you're a child and decisions are made that you have no say in but that impact you nonetheless, it takes it's toll.  It did on me.  It's funny that sharing is the one thing that gives me peace and there was a time that it was the one thing that struck terror in my heart.  I have learned it on this journey.  My very first steps were to give what I so desperately needed.  And it was a hard concept to grasp.  But the beauty of it and the weight of it all came when I had to share the treasure that I held closest to my heart. Because if I didn't, it would be like passing on the strangles and fears of my own childhood and that was just never an option.

I believe God calls us to become like little children in order to see the Kingdom of heaven because of one truth.  Children have the capacity to love, without exception, without border, without hindrance.  They can love their neighbor, they can love the person that hurt them on the playground five minutes before.  They can love like He does.  I have been taught the greatest lesson of all from my two.  Reminding them, reassuring them that they could love the people that had been brought across this path of ours.  One is fiercely loyal to her momma, but she also loves with that same power and when she was able to turn that outward and continue to do so even it her pain, it changed her.  It changed me.  And I dare say she has no idea of the impact she has had on the lives of countless others because of it.  She's my hero that girl.  And the one whose heart was born with the most treasured of gifts, forgiveness, sees all through the eyes of the love of a Saviour.  I have never seen him hold a grudge.  This heart that is so full of compassion and quick to say I love you and it's alright, the unconditional of the way he loves is from God.  So how could I not share these treasures with the ones hurting?  What right did I have to squelch the beautiful graces God gave to them? That would have been the worst sin.  And in encouraging them to be the children they are, I let myself be the girl I had not allowed myself to be.  The capacity for a child's ability to love has no bounds.  There is no limit to the people their hearts can hold.  And I happen to know my two are extraordinarily amazing.  People are drawn to them.  Encouraging them to step out and take a chance and love in the hard spots gave me the courage to do it too.  In watching them, I found myself.  Thankful

1 comment:

  1. "My very first steps were to give what I so desperately needed."
    Yes. Yes, this. So profound and so hard to do!