Tuesday, December 31, 2013


I'm writing this on New Year's Eve morning.....reflecting, pondering, journaling so much lately with pen and paper.  It's been almost a year since He called me back to this.  A year.  That can change everything.  Two years to the day my world crumbled.....a year to the day that I was choosing to run from the healing I so desperately sought.  And then the year that changed it all again...this year.  He promised me that it would not last forever, that the breaking would not kill me.  It hasn't. 2012 was a year of breaking, a year of stripping away all that was and He kept telling me....begin again....this year, my word found me...I wasn't searching for a word or a blog or anything remotely like what He has done, yet here I am.   And the word...thankful...finally settled in late about a month ago and I really understood what He was telling me.  In the midst of the storm, a statement from Christine Cane stuck with me...."the breaking always precedes the miracle".  Yes, but what I have learned this year is that the middle...THAT changes everything.  In her reference, she spoke of Jesus breaking bread....and giving thanks....and then He fed the 5,000...the breaking preceded the miracle, BUT, the breaking was followed with thanksgiving.  That was the part I needed to learn.  The miracle, the thanksgiving, the joy......2013 was my year to learn thanksgiving in the middle of my circumstance..whatever it might have been.  And let me say this year was hard.  There was nothing even remotely easy about walking these last 364 days....but each step led me closer to what it is He has called me to.  Thanksgiving.  He gave me a verse in 2012.....it even sat on my desk.  I wrote it out, but I didn't grasp it.
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
Amplified Bible (AMP)
16 Be happy [in your faith] and rejoice and be glad-hearted continually (always);
17 Be unceasing in prayer [praying perseveringly];
18 Thank [God] in everything [no matter what the circumstances may be, be thankful and give thanks], for this is the will of God for you [who are] in Christ Jesus [the Revealer and Mediator of that will].

This fall especially, I have learned to be thankful is not necessarily to FEEL it.  He doesn't say "feel thanks", He says GIVE thanks.  Even if I don't feel it, even if it's through tears, even on the hard days, even when thankful is the last thing I am.  Giving it lets it take root, lets it get in deep and anchor itself.  It's what I have ended each post with.  Not because I particularly felt it, even though sometimes I did, but purposefully saying Thank You Lord.  I know You will use even this for Your glory.  And He has.  Tonight, for the first time in two years, I am excited for a New Years eve to come.  I am glad for the people I am able to share with and for what He has done this year, especially on the hard days.....never will I leave you baby girl, NEVER will I forsake you....no, He never has.  And if I have no other reason on earth, that very one makes me forever, thankful.


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    1. Oops...I should have proofread my comment! Take two. :)

      This is beautiful...such a reflection of all God has done in your heart. My sweet friend, you inspire me. What a blessing your words are to my heart today as I look forward to a new year and all He's going to do. Love to you! :)