Further Still

I read something today that sunk into my heart. How do you own your faith? For me it's being a big girl, standing on my own two feet more and more. I never believed I could. Never believed He would truly help me. Yet here I stand. And each time I open my hand, He takes what I'm clinging to and holds my hand. It is then He can take me closer to where He wants me to be. It seems small, getting a new battery in your vehicle. For me it is a big deal. I don't have my other half to call and rescue me. Thankfully I have my family here. And the afternoon found me getting an oil change and a new battery. This is usually where I panic. My dad handles it all and I go on my way. But that prompting......how much was it? I'll write a check.....words that made me nauseous. But they were right words. Trusting words. Words of a very tiny girl trying to grow her faith. And the evening found me panicked. I worry. I stress.  What do I do Lord, what if there isn't enough now? And I lay quietly on my bed. I think of the the handwritten note stuck to the wall of the ancient auto shop where I go. Because I know them. And they know me.  I let the words settle into me earlier in the day as I sat waiting for the work to be done and then again as I lay waiting for comfort from the One doing the work in me.

Psalm 37:7 Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; 

Wait....He whispers to me.... Just be still ..sometimes that is the battle. Being still. Being able to trust that He will provide in His way because He always has. I tend to hoard provisions. He says let go. That manna will rot when gathered and stored in a way that does not have His purpose.  Things we recieve outside of God's will turn to ashes.  He has taught me much about being responsible. Standing on my own two feet a little more and trusting that even as my knees are shaking, He has me. Even if I stumble, I won't fall completely. For He has hold of me. These are the days of deep waters. Thankful.