John 11: 4-6 Voice
4 Jesus heard the message.
Jesus: His sickness will not end in his death but will bring great glory to God. As these events unfold, the Son of God will be exalted.
5 Jesus dearly loved Mary, Martha, and Lazarus. 6 However, after receiving this news, He waited two more days where He was.
I was looking for the book of Acts. So many things swirling in my head as of late and I was searching. And this is what I opened to....this story. My own story. As I read it again, I could not help but feel overwhelmed. I could not help but feel like He was talking to me, but the pain is so very deep, I'm afraid I cannot let it sink in. I cannot be disappointed anymore. And reading back through it, this is what I am focusing on mostly.
Jesus heard. He knew what was unfolding. He foretold the ending. But then, it says that He loved them very much. Why would that be necessary to state how deeply His love ran for them? Because He waited. 2 days. And by the time He actually got to them Lazarus had been in the grave for 4 days. Dead. They lost him, grieved him, buried him. And it seemed they did so alone without the comfort of their beloved Jesus. The one THEY KNEW could have fixed everything. But He didn't. He stayed far off. But He knew....what would challenge their faith, what would change their heart, what would change others hearts and call them to Him in a way nothing else could. Death, that in turn brought new life.
It's hard to see past the pain, the grief, the death and believe that anything good can come. Because, well, dead stuff is dead right? Gone, lost.....but sometimes death has to occur for something new to spring up and have it spring forth in abundance, much more so than what was before. And this death is overwhelming to me. It's painful and I keep looking around thinking You knew!!! You did! And you could have done something! Yet He has, for His glory. Thankful.