Monday, May 6, 2013

One Monday Morning

10 But He knows the course I have traveled.
And I believe that were He to prove me,
I would come out purer than gold from the fire.
11 My foot has been securely set in His tracks;
I have kept to His course of life without swerving;
12 I have not departed from the commands of His lips;
I have valued everything He says more than all else.
13 He alone is one True God; who can alter Him?
Whatever He desires within Himself, He does.
14 For He will carry out exactly what He has planned for me,
and in the future there are more plans to come.

It's Monday.  Again.  What's so bad about Monday....nothing really.  As I made my bed this morning, talking to God about facing yet another week....another week.... of crying in the face of uncertainty, praying for dreams that seem so far from reality I wonder where they came from and again, weary with putting one foot in front in the other...He said "Stop baby girl.  Sit down and let me talk to you".  And so I did.  And so He did.  So here I sit, another Monday....waiting on Him. 
Have you ever done that?  Had to wait....really wait? Really believe?  Really wrestle?  I have not until this season in my life.  Come face to face with God and really let Him look at my heart, but also, look at His.  There are days my prayers seem so unimportant, so worthless and wasted.  Empty, hollow words, not sure if they found their home.....but that's not true.  He has leaned down to listen to my cries, my whispers, my silent pleas in the dark.
As I was driving to work I came across a demolition project.  It reminded me of what my prayers must be like.  Little by little scooping out big chunks of hard, solid, old foundation.  Cracked and broken, but the pieces ran so deep.  Big chunks that have to be smashed and then taken away, all revealing smooth soft ground underneath, ready for a new foundation, ready for brand new possibilities.  Still the same piece of property, just a brand new structure.....still the same me, just a brand new me, from the inside out.  Chunk upon chunk, scooped, hollowed, removed, grated.......level, solid, strong, ready....."Begin Again" He said.....

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