Good News Translation (GNT)
5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Never rely on what you think you know. 6 Remember the Lord in everything you do, and he will show you the right way.
This verse is pretty much a staple for me. It's my fear. It's my need to control. So He reminds me. My course this past semester was Logic. Logic. What was I thinking.....I knew absolutely nothing about this course. But it was the one thing that would count towards my major that I could take and that was available online and that is what I needed. 12 weeks. I could do this. Then I tried to read my chapters. And I started to panic. It was like me trying to read words that I knew but that did not fit together. Then add in fallacies and truth tables and You Tube videos on premises and conclusions and OOOHHHHH....what have I just done? But I knew this was the class He wanted me to take. I had complete peace about it. Trust.
My teacher was fabulous. She was very straightforward. Read this, answer this and write this. Perfect. I made a 65 on my first test. My first test, I usually fail or do poorly on....in life and in class.....this is not a surprise to me. So now I know where my weaknesses are and how I need to adjust. I can do this. I didn't check my grade once all semester. First time ever. I had no desire to see how bad I was bombing.
So as time went on, the second test came and we did not get to review it, things were becoming harder and making less sense, I was giving up. It's not sooooo bad if I fail huh? (whatever!!!). Jes gave me a pep talk. "Come on mom, you have to do your best and I hope you are doing your extra credit". UUUGGGHHH! Why?!?! WHY do they repeat everything I taught them at the most inopportune times??? I sat here at my kitchen counter. Saturday night. 3 weeks left of class. 3 extra credits staring me in the face. Crossword puzzles. This is a nightmare right? So after an hour and a half, and still only half way through the first one I said forget it! If I fail, I fail. I quit. I went to mop the floor (cleaning helps me think...that's a whole nother' story). And God kept pressing me. Try one more time.....NO!!! I will not. I wasted a whole Saturday night and I'm tired and this is dumb.....Try one more time baby girl.....fine. I'm gonna try. I'm not gonna quit. I'll sit here until 11:55 pm, until the last minute I can submit this and do the very best I can, but You HAVE to help me. This makes no sense! I don't understand and I have no way to do this. I cannot do this alone!!!
And so I prayed. Over every single question. And He helped me find the answer in my book...to every single question. And I even did an extra credit that was past the submission date...just in case she had pity on me...all in one hour. One hour.
So when time came for my exam, I procrastinated. Yikes. What if I fail?!?? Okay Lord, let's do this again. 26 questions. You and me. HELP!!!! Every step I prayed. Every question I submitted to Him. And He led me. And I got a 100%. And that is a miracle. The other miracle was that I checked my transcript online to see my grade. I could live with a C. I would pass and a credit is a credit right?? I received an A for the class. An "A". Obey. Trust. Pray. Let Him Lead.
All that to say, when I was having a moment last night, telling Him how done I am and PLEASE lets just move on....I surrender!! DONE!! He said again.....Try one more time......Bust out the Proverbs 3:5-6...here I go....